The Lioness Queen

Since having children of my own, I have become aware of slipping a few places down the hierarchy of people that my own parents want to hang out with. Like a smash hit from a new pop star, the grand. children have entered the charts at number one. But as rewarding as grandparenting may be, their existence is an evolutionary conundrum: why does human female reproduction cease so long before death?

Hardly any other species on Earth has such a prolonged post-reproductive lifespan. In most species - including all of our primate cousins - individuals continue breeding (or try to) until they drop dead. Humans do things differently. Unlike any of the other great. ape species, we have almost no overlap in breeding careers between mothers and daughters. Instead, the period when daughters become reproductively active coincides with the time when their mothers undergo a major physiological transition: menopause. Though we sometimes bemoan this period of life as signifying the start of old age, perhaps feeling as though we are becoming decrepit and defunct, I want to offer an alternative perspective. Menopause is an important switch-point in a woman's life that serves a specific purpose: this is when we change reproductive lanes, going from being breeders to being helpers.

The menopause is not simply an artefact of longer lifespans due to recent improvements in health care and lifestyles. Across most—if not all—societies, menopause occurs at around age fifty and is accompanied by an extended post-reproductive lifespan, even among people who lack access to technology or modern medicine. This includes contemporary hunter-gatherers and even historically high-mortality populations, such as plantation slaves living in Trinidad in the eighteenth century. The age of menopause is also heritable and, as more and more women living in industrialised societies delay having children until later in life, menopause also seems to be getting later.*

* Age at menopause is also influenced by environmental factors, like BMI and smoking. Interestingly, recent evidence finds that frequent sexual activity is associated with a later onset of menopause, suggesting that menopause might come earlier when the body knows' that there is no risk of becoming pregnant.

Taking a closer look at the underlying physiology shows us that menopause is not just part of the normal aging process. Human females are born with around 2 million follicles in situ, each capable of producing an egg. This supply declines steadily throughout life: by the time she is twenty, the average female has around 100,000 follicles remaining, and around 50,000 by the time she is thirty-five. Extrapolating forwards, even with this rate of decline, the average woman should be able to continue reproducing until she is well into her sixties and maybe even seventies. But something strange happens when she is around thirty-eight years old. Now, the number of follicles nose-dives, is going into a much steeper rate of decline. As a consequence, by the time she's fifty or thereabouts, her follicle levels drop below the minimum threshold required for regular menstrual cycles.

This highlights the mechanics of menopause. But it doesn't answer the question of why. Why do women experience this sharp, non-linear decrease in our fertility in our late thirties? And why do we then persist as sterile vessels, when it would seem that we have become reproductive dead ends?

*

To answer these questions, we need to take an evolutionary perspective. Through this lens, we come to realise that menopause is the outcome of an evolutionary battle, played out over millennia, between grandmothers and their daughters-in-law. Poor old mothers-in-law are the butt of a thousand schoolboy jokes but, as the saying goes, a joke is the truth wrapped in a smile.

The science isn't totally resolved on this, but there are good reasons to believe that dispersal in ancestral humans was female-biased. In other words, reproductive-age females tended to move to live with their 'husband' (I use this term loosely, to mean male breeding partner) and his family, rather than the other way around. An important consequence of female-biased dispersal is that the younger females (the wives) are potentially competing with their mothers-in-law over the limited resources needed to successfully raise children. We can make use of historical data sets of pre-industrial humans to get a feel for the effects of this competition. In Finland, the Lutheran church kept meticulous records of marriages, births and deaths from the 1700s until the early 1950s. Originally kept for tax purposes, these records now have a far greater value in helping us understand how selection might have acted upon historical human populations, in a time before inventions like the contraceptive pill and modern medicine could complicate estimates of fitness too much. This data shows that when a grandmother bred alongside her daughter-in-law, all of the children suffered. The costs were heavy: children were less than half as likely to survive to the age of fifteen when there was competition between breeding females. Nevertheless, co-breeding was also exceedingly uncommon, with just thirty or so grandmothers (out of more than 500) being reproductively active at the same time as their daughters-in-law. In most cases, we see a case of what looks like altruism: the older females concede to the younger ones in these reproductive battles. But how might grandmothers possibly benefit from curtailing their own reproduction and allowing younger females to breed unhindered?

This puzzle can be solved by considering the ways in which the younger and older females are related to one another's off. spring. The mother-in-law has a vested genetic interest in any children produced by her son's wife (so long as they are definitely his children*). The wife, on the other hand, has no genetic interest whatsoever in any offspring produced by her mother-in-law.

* Probably quite a safe bet in the Finnish data set, where monogamous marriage was strictly enforced and adultery was severely punished. On average, the median estimate for misattributed paternity worldwide is low, estimated to be about 1-2% - the Finnish data set is likely to be comparable.

This is what's known as a relatedness asymmetry - and it weakens the mother-in-law's hand. A grandmother is disincentivised to breed, if doing so harms her grandchildren. The reverse is not true: the younger female's genes simply don't care about any costs they might impose on those residing in the mother-in-law and her children. As a consequence of this relatedness asymmetry, the grandmother is more likely to concede in any battle over reproduction; her pay-off coming, instead, in the form of grand-children. Once she is committed physiologically to sterility, she can make the best of it by helping to raise her grandchildren. The benefits that grandmothers confer are well documented and can provide the selective impetus needed to favour the increased post-reproductive lifespan. From the ashes of an evolutionary conflict, grandmothers rise up.

When all we have to go on are records of births, deaths and marriages, it is very difficult to infer how, exactly, grandmothers helped their grandchildren to survive. It is likely that these ancient grand. mothers acted as repositories of knowledge, passing vital information on everything from breastfeeding to dealing with infants’ illnesses. In some cultures, grandmothers breastfeed their grandchildren, and are able to produce milk for the child even when their own breeding attempts ended many years earlier. Grandmothers are also an extra pair of hands, someone who is available to help care for any dependent children, which allows mothers to undertake other jobs (foraging and paid labour, for example) that contribute to infant survival.

*

Another broad pattern emerging from these data sets is that not all grandmothers are equal: data from twenty-six historical and contemporary natural fertility populations has shown that maternal, rather than paternal, grandmothers make the most difference to the survival of their grandchildren. This is a bit confusing - we know women tended to have their babies in their husband's household, which might seem to imply that it would be the paternal grandmothers who would be doing the heavy lifting when it came to the childcare. The answer to this evolutionary riddle comes from yet another church database - Canadian this time - documenting the lives of French settlers in and around Quebec in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. The data shows that, even when daughters leave home to have their babies, the maternal grandmothers are still able to help out - so long as the daughters don't move too far away. Increased distance between mothers and their daughters corresponded with decreased survivorship of the daughter's off. spring, likely because the maternal grandmother was less able to help out from afar. The general pattern therefore seems to be that conflict among mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law explains the evolution of menopause, but post-reproductive females direct their investments to the grandchildren they are most certain that they are related to: to their daughter's rather than to their son's children.

If women's post-reproductive lifespan has been extended by the benefits they could bestow upon their grandchildren, we might ask why grandmothers don't live for even longer. In fact, why do they have to die at all? Before answering this question, it is important to dispel the seemingly intuitive explanation that people die because they become old and decrepit. Senescence - the process of ageing - is not just a biological inevitability. Instead, it is something that is under the control of natural selection. If there were sufficient fitness advantage to living a bit longer and not being riddled with the ailments of old age, then we probably would have longer healthy lifespan. Ageing is what happens when evolution no longer sees a future for us, and selection becomes less assiduous in maintaining and overseeing basic physiological processes, like cell division. There's no point proofreading a document that no one is going to read.

So why don't grandmothers live forever? A recent analysis of the same Finnish data set indicates that grandmothers are only useful (in an evolutionary sense) for the child's first few years of life. Most of the children a grandmother can expect to help with will have been born by the time she is about seventy-five. Beyond this point, not only are grandmothers unhelpful for child survival, but they actually become a liability: living with one means that any child is less likely to survive into adulthood. This detrimental effect acts as a counterweight to the selective force favouring increased lifespan: in the end, grandmothers are no longer selected to live, but to die.

Reasons to Log Off

The girl who said she could never eat a second slice
of pizza my second year of college is doing really well.
My cousin posts a photo of a loaded gun. Have I ever
heard of the Second Amendment? Have I ever heard
of this new recipe? Cauliflower, a hint of lemon, some
chopped-up ginger root. Hey, do you want to lose
weight in only thirty minutes? Hey, can I have just a
moment of your time? Click here to receive a special
invitation. Click here if you want to believe in God.
Tomorrow there’s a Pride walk to support the right to
marry. One comment says: I will pray for your affliction.
Another says: I hope you trip, fall down, and die.
Swipe up to find my new lip filler. Scroll down to read
why these four girls were horribly afraid. Greg is
asking for your number. Greg wants to send a
big surprise.

The loneliness of the LinkedIn user.

La virtud es un rayo de belleza celestial,
un don del alma, en la que adquiere su valor.
Ésta no teme al ultraje temporal, es más, el hombre alcanza con los años mayor esplendor.
Orfeo venció al infierno y luego fue vencido por sus deseos.
Digno sea de gloria eterna sólo aquel que a sí mismo se venza.

Max (2017) Órficas. Madrid: Nordica.

It's not paranoia if they're shooting bullets of niceness at you.

The cat had a party to attend, and went to the baboon to get herself groomed.

“What kind of party?” the baboon asked, and she massaged the cat’s neck in order to relax her, the way she did with all her customers. “Hope it’s not that harvest dance down on the riverbank. My sister went last year and said she’d never seen such rowdiness. Said a fight broke out between two possums, and one gal, the wife of one or the other, got pushed onto a stump and knocked out four teeth. And they were pretty ones too, none of this yellowness you find on most things that eat trash.”

The cat shuddered. “No,” she said. “This is just a little get-together, a few friends. That type of thing.”

“Will there be food?” the baboon asked.

“Something,” the cat sighed. “I just don’t know what.”

“ ‘Course it’s hard,” the baboon said. “Everybody eating different things. You got one who likes leaves and another who can’t stand the sight of them. Folks have gotten so picky nowadays, I just lay out some peanuts and figure they either eat them or they don’t.”

“Now, I wouldn’t like a peanut,” the cat said. “Not at all.”

“Well, I guess you’d just have drinks, then. The trick is knowing when to stop.”

“That’s never been a problem for me,” the cat boasted. “I drink until I’m full, and then I push myself away from the table. Always have.”

“Well, you’ve got sense, then. Not like some of them around here.” The baboon picked a flea from the cat’s head and stuck it gingerly between her teeth. “Take this wedding I went to — last Saturday, I think it was. Couple of marsh rabbits got married — you probably heard about it.”

The cat nodded.

“Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love.”

“My husband and I wrote our own vows,” the cat said defensively.

“Sure you did,” countered the baboon, “but you probably had something to say, not like these marsh rabbits, carrying on that their love was like a tender sapling or some damn thing. And all the while they had this squirrel off to the side, plucking at a harp, I think it was.”

“I had a harp player at my wedding,” the cat said, “and it was lovely.”

“I bet it was, but you probably hired a professional, someone who could really play. This squirrel, I don’t think she’d taken a lesson in her life. Just clawed at those strings, almost like she was mad at them.”

“Well, I’m sure she tried her best,” the cat said.

The baboon nodded and smiled, the way one must in the service industry. She’d planned to tell a story about a drunken marsh rabbit, the brother of the groom at last week’s wedding, but there was no point in it now, not with this client anyway. Whatever she said, the cat disagreed with, and unless she found a patch of common ground she was sure to lose her tip. “You know,” she said, cleaning a scab off the cat’s neck, “I hate dogs. Simply cannot stand them.”

“What makes you bring that up?” the cat asked.

“Just thinking,” the baboon said. “Some kind of spaniel mix walked in yesterday, asking for a shampoo, and I sent him packing, said, ‘I don’t care how much money you have, I’m not making conversation with anyone who licks his own ass.’ ” And the moment she said it, she realized her mistake.

“Now, what’s wrong with that?” the cat protested. “It’s good to have a clean anus. Why, I lick mine at least five times a day.”

“And I admire you for it,” the baboon said, “but you’re not a dog.”

“Meaning?”

“On a cat it’s . . . classy,” the baboon said. “There’s a grace to it, but a dog, you know the way they hunker over, legs going every which way.” “Well, yes,” the cat said. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Then they slobber and drool all over everything, and what they don’t get wet, they chew to pieces.”

“That they do.” The cat chuckled, and the baboon relaxed and searched her memory for a slanderous dog story. The collie, the German shepherd, the spaniel mix she claimed to have turned away: they were all good friends of hers, and faithful clients, but what would it hurt to pretend otherwise and cross that fine line between licking ass and simply kissing it?